Is This What Stress Feels Like, Or Is It Just Me?

When you’re coping, but something doesn’t feel quite right.

This article is really a composite of some clients stories…

You’re getting things done

Everyone else seems to think you’re doing OK. And you aren’t telling them any different.

But quietly you’ve started thinking.

Why am I finding things harder than I used to?
Why am I so tired and can’t switch off?

Why am I irritable over little things
Where has my confidence gone?
Why don’t I feel like myself ?

It’s too easy to put these changes down to getting older, having too much on, or simply telling yourself to get on with it.

But sometimes something else is quietly happening underneath.

Stress doesn’t always look how you expect it to.

Especially when you’re the capable, in control, conscientious one.

STRESS can look like:

Overthinking things
Finding decisions more difficult
Feeling tired, and struggling to relax
Impatience or emotionally reactive
Lost confidence or second guessing yourself
Waking up thinking about everything and struggling to switch off again
Increasingly overwhelmed by the little things

Because you’re ‘coping’, it seems strange to believe things might be slipping. The signs are easy to miss.

So a better question might be …not …“What’s wrong with me?”

But… “What’s going on for me right now?”

In short bursts, we manage and adapt to day to day demands. BUT when the pressure continues for too long, our ‘coping’ systems don’t always manage to regulate. Gradually, under strain, this can feel like your new normal, without you noticing a gradual change happening.

That can affect your:

Thinking · Energy · Emotions · Confidence · Sleep · Motivation · Resilience· Wellbeing

So if you can ask “What’s going on for me right now?” a quick check-in would be…

Compared with 6–12 months ago, what has changed for me?

Body: What have you noticed physically?
Thinking: Overthinking, second guessing, worrying?
Mood: More irritable, emotional or flat?
Energy: More tired, unable to recharge
Confidence: Self-doubt?
Work: Stuff feels harder.
Relationships: Less capacity for patience and understanding

What haven’t you spotted because you’re still managing to cope?

It’s not about being better at coping, that doesn’t change where you are. You actually need to understand what is happening with you, so you can work out what needs to change to start feeling more like yourself again.

If anything here made you think, “Actually… I think that’s me”?

Don’t wait till you’re can’t cope.

Awareness and understanding is the first step in recovering yourself.

If you’d like to talk through what you’ve been noticing, please do get in touch.

Caroline Knight
Personal Development Coach
Neuroscience-backed coaching for professionals navigating stress, change and midlife.