How to be resilient in stressful times

In today’s challenging world resilience is about learning how best to face and deal these challenges both expected and unexpected, real or imagined because in moments of overwhelm and confusion we are most at risk of experiencing uncertainty, stress, anxiety and losing ourselves.  However this is not about having weakness or shame, it is Science because it is the mechanisms of our mind and our physiology that are at play to protect and serve us and keep us safe.

We have evolved with survival instincts built into our very DNA so that when we encounter danger and uncertainty biological systems within us trigger immediate responses for self-preservation and safety.   We sense, anticipate and react to danger far quicker than the more evolved higher functioning parts of our brain. Our cognitive brain will try to make sense of any risk or perceived change in our environment, but it cannot function at the same rate as our instinctual reactions when we need to avoid certain death.  We simply haven’t got time to think about what might be and what possible options exist when something is about to harm you, you just react! 

This is the mechanism that initiates the ‘stress response’ within us as the body prepares for action and this begins in the brain.

 

Ref: Harvard Health Publishing

 

When someone is perceiving, confronting or experiencing a danger, the senses i.e., eyes or ears (or both) send the information to the amygdala, an area of the brain that contributes to emotional processing. The amygdala interprets the images and sounds. When it perceives danger, it instantly sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus. In a stressful event, the amygdala, an area of the brain that contributes to emotional processing, sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus. This area of the brain functions like a command centre, communicating with the rest of the body through the nervous system so that the person has the energy to fight or take flight and run. This area of the brain communicates with the rest of the body through the autonomic nervous system, (ANS) which controls involuntary body functions e.g.  breathing, blood pressure, heartbeat, lung dilation. Within the ANS lies two complementary systems. The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and the parasympathetic nervous system (PSNS). The sympathetic nervous system functions like an accelerator in a car providing the body with a burst of energy to respond to perceived dangers. The parasympathetic nervous system acts like the brake. It promotes the “rest and digest” response that calms the body down after the danger has passed.

When triggered these systems flood our nervous system with chemical messengers that affect our body chemistry.  The SNS is flooded with cortisol and adrenalin to trigger us into a readiness state and with that all the accompanying additional physical symptoms of a stress response; the heart pumps faster to push blood to the muscles and your body redirects blood necessary for power, strength and movement. As biological resources redirect, so our brain is impaired, and we simply cannot use our cognitive functions as well as normal even if we could think as quickly as our body reacts our judgement is impaired i.e., we can’t think straight or feel fuzzy or confused. The mouth becomes dry and other non-essential biological systems go offline and redirect to more critical areas etc. You are functioning on your earliest biological programming; do I stay and fight the sabre tooth tiger or run for my life. As long as a person feels such feelings or emotions eg distress, dread, or lack of safety the sympathetic nervous system will keep stress hormones and neurochemicals active in the body. That is why you experience physical symptoms when you feel fear and anxiety.

So, when it comes to our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing, when we are feeling and experiencing life events as we do our body is engaged in varying degrees of high alert even if we haven’t realised it in our higher thinking brain.  We are in fact therefore sensing instability, uncertainty and danger at a subconscious level from within our environment and are instinctively reacting to it.  

Because this is the case, calming down that stress response is critical to bringing our mind and body back to a state of perceived security and safety and into a more positive state of wellbeing. But we first need to be aware that it is happening. Having that awareness and understanding of how this process affects us means we can appreciate both that the stress response is a protective physiological mechanism but also that it is something we can alter if we know what is required to reverse the effect.

And additionally appreciating  and noticing what is happening in our body as we encounter fear provoking and uncertain situations, we can also learn to adjust our thoughts, feelings and behaviour to calm ourself down and regulate our response when it needs to be dialled down a little or doesn’t warrant that fear at all!

How does this awareness help our resilience?

Much of this is about self-managing how we regain control.  If we can find ways to manage our own body’s reaction to the dis-ease and distress that stress triggers, then we stand a much better chance of interrupting the chain of events that cause it, to bring ourselves back into a calmer more regulated state. 

When we are more resilient, we work flexibly and with agility, we adjust to life’s challenges in a more balanced way.  This leaves us better able to deal with the change as it happens, acknowledge it is happening and deal with it in a healthier manner. We don’t have to like what is happening to us, but we can accept it and understand it, and so regain control of our response to what’s happening and create more choice and much more realistic mental strategies to respond to it.

Human beings are intelligent thinking creatures. Over millennia, within the frontal lobe of the brain we have evolved an area called the prefrontal cortex. This area of the brain is where the high-order cognitive functions sit, such as decision making, reasoning, personality expression, and social cognition.

When something bad happens, we experience an event or challenging situation, we inevitably try and make sense of it and use cognitive ability to create meaning of what is happening to us. We try to understand and explain it. When we do this, we can also get lost in those explanations and focus on the negatives This happens partly because our earlier brain function is constantly scanning in the background for the negatives in our environment and sees all the negative possibilities to alert us to them and keep us safe.  Managing how we think about negative things enables us to be more resilient.

 

 

 

 

Creating a positive state and positive focus allows us to create an internal safe space where we become more able and competent to be resilient when the world feels insecure. Resilient people think more positively and spend their time and energy positively focusing on situations and events that they have more control over. In this way they feel empowered and confident both in what they do and with the choices they make. Conversely when you focus on those things that are out of your control you become frustrated, stuck, helpless and ultimately powerless to act.

 

 

 

Starting to build resilience doesn’t have to be difficult. Here are 3 ways to bring yourself back to a calmer more regulated space and feel more in control and able to choose your response when things feel a little overwhelming and you want to feel a bit more in control.

Let’s Relax

My top tip is about calming the system down with breathing. This isn’t wo-wo, it’s a physiological mechanism to calm the body’s stress systems. When you slow your breathing down and focus on the flow of air into and out of your lungs, your body recognises you are not now in a state of survival  (you are tricking your body such that you don’t need as much oxygen to be diverted for energy)and this resets the mechanism into a more natural calmer regulated state. By slowly and gently beginning to inhale and then exhale through the nose making the exhale a little longer than the inhale by a second or two you calm your nervous system. And if you do this for 1-2 minutes you will feel the tensions release. I know this might feel a little awkward to start with but actually something I was told by a breathing expert on a course session I took that stuck with me was to just remember that ‘the mouth is for eating the nose is for breathing!’

 Be positive

There is so much about inner strength and resilience that is related to being positive. Positive thinking doesn’t mean ignoring the unpleasant aspects of life. It just means your approach to those challenges, problems or unpleasant experiences are more positive. You can choose to think that positive things are going to happen, more positive futures are possible, and that this situation is not a permanent one; no situation is. And you can choose to be in control of how you respond to any given situation and know you can control your response more resourcefully and helpfully for you.

Positive thinking often starts with self-talk. You know that endless stream of unspoken thoughts playing in your head. Those automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. More often though self-talk is negative and unhelpful and comes from deep within our psyche based on our perceptions, thoughts, beliefs and values. These are not necessarily helpful and often become a barrier to us.  If the thoughts you have that run through your head are mostly negative, your outlook on life is more likely to be pessimistic. If your thoughts are more positive, you will more likely see the world in a more positive optimistic way.

  Self-belief

Belief in yourself is so important to a resilient mind.  And you have all that you need within you to be amazing because you already are. You can develop self-belief even if you don’t think you are there yet. It might take a little reflection, focusing attention on yourself and the ability to recognise all the valuable resources you have within you. Your personal values and how you have navigated life so far, the knowledge, individual skills and abilities you have gained over a whole lifetime. All the interactions and connections and how that has enriched you and made you unique.

Self-belief is especially important because it affects the choices you make. By focusing on your purpose, knowing who you want to be, what your values are and how you want to be in life, you will be stronger more focused and able to set goals and take action to achieve them.

You can visualise and create the story of who you want to be and work towards that as your life goals develop. And when you encounter self – doubt start by identifying what that is about and where it is coming from so you can confidently face it and find a way to overcome it.

Self-belief also requires a positive focus on physical health not just mental and emotional strength. By finding small ways to boost your physical wellbeing everyday you offer yourself an extra boost of energising positivity e.g. walk in nature, exercise, gym, swim, sports, even going upstairs a couple of times extra a day.  The more you move your body and energise yourself the more positive you will feel. The chemicals that work on your mood are being released more effectively when you move. Chemicals such as serotonin and oxytocin, feel good hormones that promote a sense of connection, comfort and wellbeing allow you to both energise your body and feed your mind and you will feel much better about yourself.

So, when you think about challenges and wish you could see a more self-assured and resilient self, get up and look in the mirror and say hello to the positive you that is already there! And if you can’t see it yet, let me show you how. Call me here now. 

Be well

Caroline