People come to me for coaching because they think they know what they want and working with me will help them get there. And that’s great!….. Although in reality, when we first start to talk about the goal they want to achieve, a decision to make or an issue they have, what comes out more often than not, is that they are focused more on what they don’t want, rather than what they really want without realising it. And so they are unsurprisingly finding it difficult to see how to achieve it.
And that’s really why people come for coaching!
Coaching offers the clarity needed to focus on the right goals for the right reasons for you. It is so important when you want to achieve something or get somewhere, to know what it is you actually want. Think about it, how much easier is it to know your final destination when you start a journey. That’s why we have help from SATNAV’s and that is literally what SATNAV technology is built on! And how reliant are we all on SATNAV technology these days to get us to our destination.
Personally, I still like to use maps as well, because I like to know not only my destination but roughly where it is in a wider context, in case I get off track and need to find another route to get me there.
Now that’s actually an important point, because that is not to say your route or indeed you destination cannot or will not change as very often it does. And that is fine too. It’s more about having the correct focus to direct your energies along a considered route because that is a powerful way to start you on your journey however many twists and turns there may be in the road as you move forwards.
So here are 5 top tips to consider when you want to focus on any goal, decision or issue.
Firstly, ask yourself what do I really want, what outcome is important to me? Make it a positive that you are going to move towards, not something you wish to avoid.
For example:
…….I’m not going to duck out of my gym classes anymore, I’ve paid for them, and I’ve got to use them.
Could become……….
……I will go to my gym classes for the next 6 months.
Now, If you can’t yet commit to your total goal for whatever reasons, what else could you commit to instead, that remains a positive focus for you?
…..I may not make all the classes but that’s ok. I’ve already paid, let’s say I’ll aim to go to at least my Tuesday and Thursday class and that feels comfortable and doable.
Next, consider do you really want this outcome? How important is it to you? You must really want this to happen.
So, in this example:
……Yes I really want to do this, I want to feel healthier, fitter and look great in my swimsuit for summer.
Why is it important to be relevant? Goals that are not yours are far less achievable. The motivation must come from within you, not from someone else.
This is about when and where you want this to happen. The clearer you are about your outcome and the more specific you can be, the more real and concrete it becomes. Crystal clarity allows focus. Imagine walking in a mist towards something you can’t quite see. You will be tentative and slower to move forwards, perhaps stumble or travel in a path that isn’t as direct as it might be simply because you can’t see what you are aiming for.
You need to be able to notice when you reach your goal or outcome. What does it look like? How will you know and feel when you get there?
……..I will feel healthier, fitter and I will look amazing for summer.
Decide what that looks like for you. Your brain and body will be able to tell you if you listen for the signs.
My final point on this is that this is your goal or issue to be resolved. Only you can make it happen for yourself, even with help, it is yours to own and, in that way, the achievement will be yours when you get there. You must be the one in control of your actions and your journey.
So now tell me, what is the first step you are going to take to achieve your dream, goal or resolve your issue. Use these 5 tips to guide you whatever that may be.
Here’s some more thoughts on focusing.
And if you want some more specific help to make decisions and get what you want, just drop me a line and i’ll be there for you. Let’s talk. I will get you there in no time… and we will do it together!
Be well
Caroline
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